


Try to Live Tonight

by shewritesall



Series: Romanogers Short Stories [9]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Captured, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Missions Gone Wrong, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Torture, Violence, Whump, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 07:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18149168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewritesall/pseuds/shewritesall
Summary: It's been four months since Natasha and Steve's mission went awry. Since it was a deep cover mission, no one had their exact location when they disappeared. There's only so long war-hardened soldiers and resistant spies can last in a vengeful HYDRA base. Especially when they're the ones HYDRA is most upset with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a darker story hence the mature label. There is depicted violence and implied/referenced rape. It's not graphic which is why I didn't use the tag, but there is violence described because they are in an enemy base. It is implied that there is rape, but the story doesn't go into detail. Read at your own risk. You have been warned and I am not responsible for any triggers that may occur by overlooking this warning.

It was getting worse.  At first, they had hope of rescue or at least getting out on their own.  At this point, though, Steve was pretty sure they were on their own.  He was still trying to pretend they had backup coming, trying to make their odds of survival less slim.  Natasha kept track of the days and even though she hadn't said anything in a while, he knew it had been at least four months, but it felt longer.  It could have been longer.  HYDRA was inconsistent enough with meals and coming in to question them that event Natasha wasn't a hundred percent sure about her time calculation, so she underestimated it.  When she'd first told Steve she wasn't sure about the time anymore, he didn't let it worry him.  Now, though, with the feeling of her ribs digging into his hand and the fact that he was aware of his own body begging for food and barely keeping him running, he wasn't as hopeful.

Natasha was asleep at the moment.  She had curled around him as best she could on the slim bedframe that barely fit them both and her ribs were pressing against his thigh hard enough he couldn't ignore it.  She'd always been slim, but that was because she'd been fit.  Steve could live with being able to feel her ribs when it was because she was in shape; when her ribs were sharp and prominent because she'd barely eaten in four months, well, he didn't like that thought as much.

"Steve,"  she mumbled, tucking closer to him and further from the wall.  He didn't have to move to look at her; he'd been silently watching her sleep ever since she'd closed her eyes.  She didn't say anything else or move anymore afterward, so he figured she was still asleep and didn't reply.  She may be exhausted and need the sleep, but she was in a hostile environment so any noise was likely to wake her up.

Steve heard a door down the hall slam shut and he tensed, his hand that had been brushing over Natasha's head stopped moving and he felt her tense up beside him.  He glanced down at Natasha to see her eyes open and fixed on the door.  She slowly sat up beside Steve, her side pressed into his as they waited for their door to be opened and someone to walk in to question them.  It didn't take long before it happened and he was reaching for Natasha's hand as the door slid open.  Neither of them flinched when the door was slammed shut and they were left alone with four HYDRA agents.

"You know, Steve Rogers, I was hoping we would be done with this by now,"  the man, Heidrich, said. 

"Me too,"  Steve replied.  Heidrich didn't even blink at Steve's comment as he mumbled something to the three other men beside him in German.  Natasha's grip on Steve's hand hardened and he looked at her.  Over the course of their time here, he'd been able to pick up on quite a few German words.  However, when the words were mumbled, it was hard to recognise them.  Apparently, Natasha had, though, and from her reaction, he was guessing it wasn't good.

"Alright,"  Heidrich said, clasping his hands and looking up at both of them.  "Let's begin, yes?"  The three men he'd brought with him moved forward and Steve's arm immediately shot out to prevent them from grabbing Natasha.  He was weaker than he'd been even two months ago, though, and two of the men were able to pull him away from Natasha roughly.  The third man had been able to grab Natasha from behind, holding her back from fighting any of them.  She yelled harshly in German, thrashing in the third agent's arms and trying to get free, but was unable to.  The lack of food over the past few months had made her weak and she could no longer break free of one man's grip.  Not that he was doing any better, Steve thought to himself bitterly.  He was being dragged away by two agents and couldn't get free on his own.

"We've been through this before,"  Natasha told Heidrich, hardly thrashing around anymore.  "We don't have the answers you want."

"I am beginning to believe you, yes,"  Heidrich replied, taking a few steps towards her until he was much closer than he needed to be.  Steve pulled against the agents holding him back, but their grips didn't falter and his previous injuries protested the movement.  "Do not worry, though, this will be done soon.  I have orders to kill you if I cannot get my information out of you by the end of this week.  158 days is a long time to keep living prisoners."

"You won't get any more information than you already have,"  Natasha snapped.  Heidrich smiled at her and gently caressed her face.  Her hard stare didn't waver.

"Then I will enjoy this week very much,"  he said softly.  He didn't pull back, instead, he moved closer to whisper into her ear,  "Where is the new SHIELD base?"  Natasha didn't answer, staring directly over Heidrich's shoulder at Steve who was glaring fiercely at Heidrich's back.

The man holding Natasha back nodded at the men holding back Steve and they both kneed him harshly.  One hit his abdomen, causing him to keel over, and the other hit his ribs.  He swallowed back a gasp, breathing deeply and looking up at Natasha.  Her blank stare didn't waver, but Steve knew it was for show.  He heard Heidrich mumble something else, still uncomfortably close to her, but she didn't reply.  Steve's vision blurred and black dots danced in front of him as one of the agents holding him back slammed their elbow at the base of his skull.  He tumbled to the ground and only one agent kept hold of him.

"You think not answering will help,"  Heidrich said gently.  He gently brushed Natasha's cheek with the back of his fingers and she focused her eyes back on him.  "You are very, very wrong."

Heidrich looked up from Natasha to the man holding her back.  The agent nodded at the men holding Steve and they began to violently beat him.  They kicked him harshly, landing a few hits to his head, but mostly attacking his abdomen as it was easiest to reach.  Steve tried not to make a sound, but each hit connected with an old injury and the pain was almost more than he could swallow.  When one agent managed to stomp on his shoulder where a nasty gash was still healing, he couldn't hold back his groan.  Motivated by his pain, the two agents beat him harder, targeting injuries they knew were still trying to heal.

Natasha refused to watch, keeping her eyes closed and trying to ignore the sounds of the agents hitting Steve.  At his first groan of pain, her eyes closed tighter and she tried to block out the sounds even harder.  She tried to move her hands up to cover her ears, but the agent holding her back wouldn't let her.  She couldn't hear anything but the sounds of Steve's groans and the harsh abuse of the HYDRA agents.

"Watch,"  Heidrich demanded, grabbing her face roughly and turning it to face Steve.  Natasha kept her eyes closed even as Heidrich's grip on her face became tighter and she knew it'd leave bruises.  "Open your eyes and watch!"  he yelled at her, grabbing a fistful of her hair.  He pulled hard and she gasped, her eyes flying open to look at him.  "Look at him!"  Heidrich demanded.  Natasha risked a glance at Steve who was on the ground still being kicked and hit.  Steve looked up at her but was shoved down before he could assure her he was alright.

"Please stop,"  Natasha said, looking at Heidrich.  He pulled her hair harder and she grimaced.

"Where is SHIELD's new headquarters?"  Heidrich asked, pulling her hair until her neck couldn't go any further.  "Answer and they will stop."

"We don't know,"  Natasha told him, struggling to talk with her neck pulled back so far.  Heidrich gave her hair a short yank and she closed her eyes tightly.  "We weren't told; we don't know.  SHIELD isn't planning on rebuilding."

"Of course they are and you know it,"  Heidrich sneered.  He released her hair and turned around to face Steve and the agents beating him. " _Aufhören_!"  he yelled at the agents.  They immediately ceased beating Steve and looked up at Heidrich.

Steve braced for more, waiting to be hit harder, but nothing came.  Slowly, he looked up from the floor to see Heidrich looming over him and Natasha still being held tightly by the HYDRA agent, arms pressed against her chest as the agent's arms wrapped around her to prevent her from moving.

"You have one chance to answer my question, Steve Rogers,"  Heidrich told him.  Steve didn't look away from Natasha, but Heidrich didn't seem to care.  "If you do not, Miss Romanova may find herself in a rather unpleasant situation again."

"This whole ordeal is an unpleasant situation,"  Steve replied.

"Be that as it may, we can make it worse,"  Heidrich said calmly.  Steve pushed himself further upright even though his whole body protested.  He looked up at Heidrich, breathing heavily like he'd just run a marathon even though he'd barely moved at all.  "Where will SHIELD be moving to and where can I find Nick Fury?"

"I don't know,"  Steve said, closing his eyes and raising his head to the ceiling.  "I don't know where SHIELD is planning on relocating and Fury moves around so much no one can track him down."

"That is your answer?  You don't know?"  Heidrich asked.  Steve opened his eyes to look at Natasha, bruises on her face and arms seeming to appear more prominently than before.

"I don't know,"  Steve said quietly, his voice breaking at the end as he realised Heidrich would probably abuse his power no matter what he'd said.  God, he hated Fury right now.  He'd hated him earlier during their time as HYDRA captives, but at this moment—when he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do about what Heidrich was going to do to Natasha—he hated Fury the most.

"That is not the answer we needed,"  Heidrich told him.  Steve nodded and looked down at the ground.  "However, that is the answer I wanted to hear."

"Please, just leave her alone,"  Steve begged.  He knew it wouldn't do much to help, but he had to try.  "I can give you his last location, but that's all I know."

"It's been over five months,"  Heidrich reminded him.  "Nick Fury has moved many times from wherever your last location is,"  Heidrich spit at him.  Steve didn't even flinch at the action, keeping his eyes on the ground as he heard Heidrich walk away from him and towards Natasha.  "It looks like we get more time together, Natalia,"  Heidrich said, getting closer than she felt was necessary.  She tried pulling away from him, but the agent behind her kept her from moving and Heidrich came closer.

"You know we don't have your answers,"  Natasha said, continuing to struggle against the agent holding her.  "Why keep us around like animals to abuse when you could just kill us?"

"Because this is so much more fun,"  Heidrich replied, reaching out to take her from the agent that had been behind her the whole time.  "Tell me, Natalia, have you and Steve Rogers ever had sex before?"  Heidrich asked before leaning down to suck on her neck.  Natasha twisted away from him, but he pulled her right back, closer than before, pressed her against the nearest wall, and continued.  At the sound of his name, Steve looked up to see what was going on.  His blood ran cold when he saw Heidrich against Natasha.

When Natasha didn't answer him, Heidrich bit her neck harshly.  She gasped and her eyes widened at the sudden, short pain.

"I asked you a question,"  Heidrich growled.  Natasha squirmed, looking at Steve desperately as Heidrich continued to suck her neck.  He bit her again, higher up her neck and asked,  "Have you two had sex before?"

"Yes,"  Natasha whimpered.  She continued to push against Heidrich's chest or try to knee him in the groin, but she was unsuccessful.  He trapped both of her wrists in one hand after she managed to hit his chest hard enough to stop his sucking.  Once her wrists were both restrained, he went back to attacking her neck and rubbing against her.

"I suppose he wouldn't be too thrilled, then, if this time we were to stay here instead of being alone,"  Heidrich said.  Steve's eyes widened and Natasha's panicked eyes met his own.  He'd never seen her look so horrified.  The suggestion that he'd have to watch Heidrich have his way with Natasha gave him enough energy to stand and start towards them, but the three agents that had been standing nearby were quick to grab hold of him and restrain him.

Heidrich glanced over his shoulder to see Steve fighting against the agents and yelling at him.  He smiled to himself and chuckled.

"He doesn't look very happy at all,"  he said fondly.  He looked back at Natasha with a grin.  "Let's see just how mad he can get."


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha sat against the wall opposite Steve.  Her face was buried in her arms and her legs drawn tightly to her chest.  Steve couldn't see her face, but he knew it was probably just as bruised at the rest of her.  He wasn't sure how long it had been since Heidrich and his assistants had left, but Steve was pretty sure it'd been over an hour.  Natasha hadn't moved at all other than to crawl towards to corner of the room and try to disappear.  Steve knew better than to approach her no matter how badly he wanted to hold her and promise everything would be alright.  He'd tried that last time and she'd lashed out at him.  Now he understood why she hadn't wanted him so close after being forced to hear and see how Heidrich treated her.  Steve knew he'd never forget that as long as he lived, whether that was only another four days or another forty years.

The cell was silent now; almost unbearably so.  Steve was sitting on the small cot in the far corner, watching Natasha who was curled up against the opposite wall.  She wasn't very far from him, but he figured any space was better than no space and he wasn't going to push her to be alright around him.  She had to re-figure out who she was and try to process what had just happened without his interference.  If all he could do was sit on the cot and watch her, preventing anyone else from going near her, then he would.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash and what sounded like the door down the hall slamming.  Natasha jumped, her head snapping up from her arms to look around.  She spotted Steve across from her and stretched a hand out towards him.  Steve didn't need to be asked twice and he hurried to her side as quickly as he could.  Each step was agony with all of his bruises and cuts, but he made it to her side before the person down the hall made it to their door.  As soon as he was slumped beside her, her hands went around his arm and she tucked her face behind his shoulder.  Steve stretched his arm across her body as if to shield her from whoever was coming in to hurt them now.  However, when the cell door flew open and they both flinched at the noise, it wasn't Heidrich or another HYDRA agent that stood in front of them.

"Tony,"  Steve breathed.  The familiar red and gold suit stood in the doorway as it looked around the room.

"Hey, Cap,"  the metallic voice said.  The faceplate came up and Steve was ready to cry in relief at the sight of his friend's face.  "You've seen better days."

"Well, considering the circumstances, I'd have to agree,"  Steve replied.  Before Tony could ask about Natasha or explain why he was there, he was pushed aside by a very desperate Clint Barton.

"Natasha,"  Clint exclaimed, sounding so relieved and relaxing his shoulders so much Steve was surprised he didn't melt into a puddle on the floor.  Natasha's head came up from behind Steve's shoulder so fast he was worried she'd been grabbed again.  When he jumped to make sure she was okay, he was relieved to see her perfectly fine.

"Clint,"  she whispered.  Clint dropped to the floor in front of her and gingerly reached out to hug her.  Natasha was a little hesitant at first, then hugged him tightly.

"God, we were all so worried,"  Clint mumbled, embracing her carefully as he wasn't sure where or if she was injured.  Obviously, he could see the bruises on her face, arms, and neck, but he couldn't be sure about the rest of her.

"Yeah, we're here to save your asses, but we need to hurry if we don't want Wilson or Rhodey to blow us to pieces with the rest of this place,"  Tony said.  Steve smiled, willing to admit he had missed Tony's unnecessary commentary.  "Need a hand or are you good, grandpa?"  Tony asked.  Steve knew he was trying to make light of everything, but he could see the concern in Tony's eyes.

"Not gonna lie, a little assistance would be nice,"  Steve admitted.  Tony nodded and walked over to Steve, wrapping an arm under his shoulders and helping him to his feet.  Steve's whole body protested and he almost collapsed, but Tony kept him up.

"Ready, Red?"  Tony asked, glancing over at Natasha.  Clint helped her stand as well, but at her first stumble, he didn't hesitate to pick her up completely.  Natasha didn't object, a testament to how exhausted she really was.  Clint was visibly concerned at just how light she was and the way she immediately accepted his help.  No one said anything about it, though, focusing on getting out of the cell instead. 

Sam and Rhodey provided enough of a cover to get out of the HYDRA compound without much trouble.  There were a few times Steve, Clint, and Natasha had to stay around a corner until Tony could blast a few attackers and the coast was clear, but it didn't take them long to reach the quinjet and climb aboard.  Sam and Rhodey continued to fly over the HYDRA base, shooting down agents and dropping what Steve was pretty sure could be classified as upgraded dynamite.

Once Clint had the quinjet ready to take off, he told Sam and Rhodey who flew in seconds before the door closed.  The takeoff was a little rough, but they were clear of the compound's airspace by the time the place went up in flames.  The explosion was so big they could feel it nearly a mile away and in the air.

"You both look like hell," was the first thing Sam said.  Steve gave him a grim smile and nodded, glancing at Natasha who had her knees pressed to her chest beside him.  They weren't touching, but he could feel her body heat easily.

"We did just come from there,"  Natasha muttered.  Sam pursed his lips and sat on the seat beside Steve.

"Can I get you guys anything?"  he asked.  Natasha's arms tightened around her knees as she stared at the floor in front of her and Steve knew she hadn't heard Sam.

"Some food would be nice,"  he said.  Sam nodded and stood back up.

"I'll see what I can do,"  he promised.

* * *

Seven months after Steve and Natasha had returned from their time as captives of HYDRA, their bruises and other injuries had healed.  While they weren't quite as strong as before and were still struggling to recover from the starvation they'd both suffered, they looked like they were back to normal.  Between the collective Avengers, they weren't allowed back on missions until the doctors cleared them of even their malnutrition.  Clint was the strongest enforcer of this, but Tony was a strong second even if he never directly said that was the reason he didn't want them on missions.  Instead, they spent their days training together to get their strength back to how it had been before their five months as captives.

"Let's do it again,"  Natasha said, wiping her arm across her forehead to get rid of the sweat.  They'd already done seven rounds of sparring, not to mention the three hours before that when Natasha had been working out on her own.

"You've been here for six and a half hours, Natasha,"  Steve said, reaching for his water bottle.  "You should take a break."

"No, I'm good,"  Natasha insisted.  She swayed slightly but recovered fast enough Steve didn't reach out to grab her.  "Let's go again."

"No,"  Steve said.  He knew Natasha wouldn't let it go, but he also knew she'd drive herself mad if she didn't take a break.  "Maybe in a couple of hours."

"We're down here now,"  Natasha told him.  Steve didn't respond and started towards the door.  He barely spotted her reflection in the window in time to duck as Natasha's fist flew over his head.

"Natasha, take a break,"  Steve said, turning around to block her next attack.  She didn't waver and raised a leg to strike him.  Steve let her hit him, hoping she'd calm down after a few blows, but she didn't.

"Fight me back, goddammit,"  she growled, hitting Steve with more intensity.  Steve ducked and tried avoiding each hit, but he didn't attack her back.  "I just--" punch "--want--" kick "--to spar."  Her arms dropped to her side and she threw her head back, groaning up at the ceiling in frustration.  Steve watched, waiting for her to lash out again, but she just stayed still.

"Nat, hey,"  Steve said softly, stepping forward and putting a hand on her shoulder.  "We can spar later, I just think you need a break."

"You don't get it,"  Natasha whispered, still looking up at the ceiling.  Steve frowned and she moved her head so she could look at him instead.  Her eyes were glassy and even though she appeared relaxed, she was tense under his touch.  "If we'd been better--if I'd been stronger--none of this would have happened and I just..."  She groaned in frustration and swiped furiously at the tears that had made their way down her cheeks.  "I can't stop thinking 'what if I'd fought harder?' or 'what if I'd been stronger?'?"  she asked, her voice breaking at the end. 

"Natasha..."  Steve trailed off quietly.  He gently pulled her into a hug and she practically melted in his arms.  He hugged her tightly and she cried quietly.  "It wasn't your fault, Nat.  You fought so hard, but it'd been five months without training or food.  No one could have fought harder than you."

"I know, I just--"  she let out a quiet sob and buried her face further into Steve's chest.  The training room was quiet except for their breathing and Natasha's occasional sniffles or choked back sobs.  After a little while, Steve reached down and tucked an arm under Natasha's legs.  Her arms immediately went around his neck and she hid her face again as he carried her out of the training room.  They passed Sam in the hall, but he said nothing, just nodded at Steve and continued on.

"Steve?"  Natasha asked as he set her down on his bed.  Steve looked down at her as he pulled his blankets up to her chin and piled quilts on top.

"Yeah?"  Steve replied, turning the thermostat way down.

"You should tell Sam if he tells anyone what he saw, I'll slit his throat,"  she said, rolling onto her stomach and burrowing under all Steve's covers.  Steve smiled at her as she closed her eyes contentedly.

"Of course,"  he replied.  He leaned down to kiss her forehead then walked out of the room to deliver Natasha's message to Sam. 


End file.
